Things I lost this summer
On the impermanence of stuff, and the pain that permeates upon pivotal moments
Life is shifty. This summer has been immensely shifty. I have been settling into the notion of not knowing why certain things happen in life and rolling with what is. This summer, we have camped three times for a total of a month, and been continually camping in life hopping from bnb, to friends home, to hotel, to campsite, to vacation. It’s been real.
In June, right around my birthday we lost our home. I was doing my best to keep everything together and resolve the dilemma, but it kept escalating and ultimately ended up in a whirlwind moment of decision making and pivoting. I’d lost my streak.
My gregarious nature morphed, and as my world crumbled around me there was an outpour of community, friends, and family who came in to help. Never forget that there are people out there who want to help.
Work turned around and things started to balance a bit, despite the corporate bullshit endured of which, still needs sorting out. But the beauty in it all, is despite all the loss, changes, and challenges, is that I started my podcast. I showed up to record, and I shared it with the world.
Listening back to the episodes is a gentle reminder of where my energy was at that space in time. Today’s episode was the day I spoke with my attorney and realized what a mountain of problems I was in. Trust your instincts, move through hard shit, and keep on because life always gets better.
Lesson for 34 year old me: always send important documents via certified mail and request a signature.
Despite suffering and losing things in life, know that it is always temporary. You can always get back to equilibrium. I am leaning into worrying less, something my Virgo moon is a bit perplexed by but truly, life is easier when you don’t worry about what you can not control.
How has summer felt for you?
Has it been slow?
What have you gained?
What have you lost?
Things I lost this summer:
My clothing and my new bra
My new beloved Mug (capital M because to me, it was sentient in my life)
A year’s worth of natural dye materials I had been saving and forgot at a friends and ended up being tossed
A special lemon from Italy for seed saving
An earring
My sense of humor
My home
My voice
Life always seems to work out the way it needs to, even if we can not clearly see the path. This summer has been a grandiose adventure to the utmost discomforts and the utmost wonders.
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Written under a Virgo sun and a Scorpio moon, feeling like I am exactly where I should be.