The Return to Real Relationships

Building Human Connections IRL

I think I need to abandon Instagram. As much as I have loved it, I am really struggling with the lack of filtering and the constant bombarding of what is going on in the world. Simply put, I don’t need to see it.

I believe the evolution of social media has evolved so far away from my core values that I can no longer relate and, I have felt perpetually confused since the chat thread came to existence, even rolling out here on Substack. Back on Instagram, I decided to try it out with an account I used to use for my flow arts era, and I still find it perpetually confusing.

I have been in deep craving to have time with people who look like me lately and maybe that is something you feel too?

I have a deep craving to be around people that feel good to be around. In my core.

In deeper reflection, I think after eighteen years on a platform, Facebook can go as well. I don’t think I need it anymore and I have built a way to be found. I always said I kept it for my business pages and, I still can be found. After all, I have websites galore.

I am in a deep website rebuild and considering hosting everything on the same space on the interweb, so lots will be shifting/reconfiguring as I evolve and meander in 2025.

I need to stop pretending like social media has not made me incredibly unhappy as an artists since inception and let’s be real—people find me irl. At my shows, at an event, when I teach, I am found. I am endlessly invited to teach new avenues I explore and somehow become an accidental xpert* in since my network of people is absolutely phenomenal.

I think Instagram as a parasocial phenomenon is a disconnective dynamic, and sitting somewhere with people and everyone is looking at their phone screens is absolutely baffling to me. I just sit and watch as no eyes raise to look at each other and acknowledge their physical presence. In my participant observation mode this does not bother me, but I do wonder what it is doing to our youth of the generation below me who were born with YouTube, Instagram, and more already in place.

People don’t magically find me online. People don’t contact me to collaborate. Generally, the people who are in my direct messages are not people I would be connecting with irl. They are people who want something from me, whether it be a seemingly simple ask, which can often be more of my energy and time than I would like to offer, or, a big ask. People tag me on things I don’t want to be tagged in so I need to moderate that. People steal your work and claim it is their own. Everything has to be managed, and re-learned, and things change, and it’s draining. And I’m done with it. I have curated an online persona that is very much an extension of me and now, it is time I reclaim those parts back to myself, or to the graveyard of old selves.

Yes, social media has brought me cook thing: recipes, new people, new places I would like to venture to and even new opportunities but why not simplify? Why not dial things back to an area of comfort where my mind, body, and spirit can have ease? I don’t see any reason why not, so the decision and consensus between all my Gemini parts is that I shall.

I’m not in the business of passively watching other peoples lives or sharing my personal interests and searches with large corporations that do not have my best interest. That for me is out for 2025. It is so last year.

So for this year, I have decided to simplify.

Here are some ideas of ways in which we can gather that I have been simmering on ::

🌀 knitting in the park events in 2025. This has been simmering in my ideas pot for a while. I thought of facilitating these in 2020 and never implemented it as it remained an idea bubble and, I would love to see you in person this year.

🌀 silent book clubs-IRL hangouts to read silently in community

🌀🌀 hand sewing circles which I ideate to host locally in Arcata, Bayside, and/or Trinidad

🌀🌀🌀 zines! I am currently in the process of ideating my very first zines and I am excited to release and share them sometime this year

🌀 hosting an open mic night since many are dying out in our area

🌀🌀🌀 building irl beautiful landscaped edible and dye gardens with friends

🌀🌀 starting clubs to cultivate connection

🌀 bringing back flyers and radio ads

These are the questions and thoughts I am pondering :: Here are my current thoughts ::

How does social media limit and/or inhibit my creative threshold?

How we show up and care for each other is what matters most. How do I continue to do this with the current capacity I have?

Marketing goes where the people are—where are my people and how do I want to be seen? I don’t need to work harder to be discovered.

Where do I want my community to live?

Here are how my offerings are evolving ::

I am shifting my Money Portal course offerings to Notion so that I do not need to spend $100 per month just to host an online course, especially as I have so many ideas I enjoy iterating and changing.

I am considering removing the paywall on some posts here on Substack. Some posts I have a paywall on for personal and emotional boundaries, so this will be gently assessed.

I am considering adding mailer perks to paid subscriptions so you receive tangible forms of connection from me.

Finally, I am working on some top secret changes which will be announced once they launch as this works best for my personal energetics.

2025 is the year of ease, simplicity, and action. I mention action as this is a return year for me. A year of activation. A year to cultivate the seeds I have sown since Capricorn entered Pluto. A year of Aquarian adjusting. I am making major moves in a gentle fashion, and letting my energy guide how I flow with the world.

Regardless of what I am up to and creating, all of it will be for my personal positive energetics.

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Written under a Capricorn sun and a Gemini moon simply feeling.

Some thoughts on the world and ai

It’s a really uncomfortable and scary time to be human. I am really sad for Los Angeles right now, and this morning, my daughter and I had a conversation on if a photo of the fire was ai generated. That is poor form indeed. Our world needs help.

As much as I am thankful for certain advancements in ai I have been simmering on an ethical question of how much water ChatGPT uses. It bothers me. I think about it often, and as much as I have appreciated the ability to create a quick outline, check my work to ensure I have not missed anything, or to edit my email reply to clients, I am feeling less and less okay with the global impacts, the damage it will cause. Humans and sentient beings need water. Water is sacred. I believe ai should have been thought out or created differently.

Also fake news is about to explode, so I will continue to abstain from the news.

I recently read from Amara of the Do Nothing Society that if you are not doing meaningful work right now you might feel aimless, and somehow, that deeply resonated for me. I need to do the deep work, and everything else falls away.

Recommendations:

On YouTube, I am currently enjoying compilation videos of people camping with cats and preparing donburi and nabemono.

Listening to:

Podcasts in Italian on the state of America. Current verdict: very problematic. If you speak or can understand Italian and would like to listen, feel free to reach out and I can share them.

Currently watching:

Asura アスラ (Netflix) A drama on a family that discovers a big secret and how they all cope as it falls apart.

Recently enjoyed:

Perfect Days A sweet film on the ability to remain centered and joyful amidst an ever trying world. A real buddhist masterpiece imo by Wim Wenders.

Makayla’s Voice: A Letter to the World (Netflix) A really touching film about a brilliant young girl who learns tools to communicate, her family, and her journey.

Sisters on Track (Netflix) A deeply moving film about incredible sister athletes and their life filled with adversity, hormones, boys, and triumph. Incredibly relatable to my personal experiences as a single mom of color.

Delivery by Christmas Jeszcze przed swietami (Netflix) A hilarious Polish film about crappy bosses, the meaning of the holidays, and finding your people.

Today is an 11 day for me. What does today mean to you?

In Other News

All these subscriptions to watch shows and films are too expensive. I think I am going to cancel them all and shift back to DVD rentals, enjoying my personal collection, and Criterion only.

You can read an article of the water use of Chat GPT here:

ChatGPT And Generative AI Innovations Are Creating Sustainability Havoc

Many of today’s thoughts were inspired by the most recent episode of Off the Grid Podcast from my morning listen.

Mantra: This year, I reduce my codependency on the lies social media has sold my desiring creative spirit on. I will feel lighter and soar as I lean into my true gifts. That is where my magic lies.

*I used the term xpert as I believe that it can at times be a bit presumptuous to claim you know all about anything.

Countdown to deletion of socials:: E-minus 67 days