Procrastination as a Relational Issue
What if I told you that the reason you procrastinate is not only due to the fact that you have created a poor habit but actually due to the fact that your relationships have shaped the way you get things done? Wild, no? Well, if I were to put that theory to the test, it checks out in my life, and I am curious if it does in yours as well.
If you are so focused on future results, how others will receive what you do, or have someone enabling you to procrastinate, then maybe, it is not all your problem, and you don’t need to put one hundred percent of the burden on yourself. Equally, I am a woman of solutions, and when thinking of this, I wonder, what can I take off my plate so things can happen in a forward motion.
A prime example for me, would be releasing an album. With releasing an album as an indie artist, there are about 30 different roles I need to fill. Just to name a few, I have to be an arranger, a producer, a marketing expert, a graphic designer, a social media wiz, a photographer, a videographer, a musician, a composer and the artist. It is simply too much, and there are roles I have no interest in, so what I would see as procrastination is simply me needing more support and a better team. Coming to clarity with this in my life has helped me release weighted guilt and shame, holding me back from sharing my gifts to the world (or at least sharing to the capacity I have at the moment).
I have been hoping to find a group of musicians that are readily available to collaborate and elevate my music to the way I hear compositions in my head and that has not arrived, so I must pivot. I did find someone I have been working with and he is so wonderful and patient with my snail mail pace and the remote world of collaboration for musicians that la pandemia has expanded feels grand.
So now, I have laid out a feasible plan that does not put too much on my plate as my life has enough deadlines. As we transition into the water element for winter and leave metal behind, I want to focus my time on making Kimchi, baking delicious things, and sewing and crocheting whatever I please (pretty much, do things with my hands, which I love). As the celestial longitude of the sun reaches the southernmost point, the longer nights beckon us to rest, and allow our bodies to heal and regenerate.
This year, I have tasked myself with creating space into December so that I am not sewing and crying and wrapping gifts at the final hour. What if I told you that by December 1st, you could be done with everything holiday and just sit back, sew, and enjoy mediocre holiday films (or like me, revisit your favorite TCM Classics). This guide by Karen who writes my absolute favorite blog ever The Art of Doing Stuff is my lifeline for the month of November, and as I remove more from my plate, I ease into the idea that maybe we will actually have a Christmas tree before December 24th (much better too than last year where I forgot to buy one despite constant reminders from my child).
Too many run on sentences this week? Oh well.
.
.
.
Written under a sun in Scorpio and a moon in Pisces, feeling extra hopeful that maybe this year I won’t burnout like a star reaching equilibrium that is out of fuel.
Currently watching:
Mom, Don’t Do That! Nice and lighthearted for me and my daughter to enjoy together.
Currently reading:
Everything isn’t Terrible (and this is the reason I gained some insight on procrastination, so you are very welcome).
Listening and loving my discover weekly playlist so much this week. Too bad Spotify is like the modern satan for musicians, but their curation AI is spot on. My favorite this week is Le Loup by Mai Lan.
This video does discuss heavy themes of childhood sexual abuse and while for me it feels positive to watch something empowering, I know for others, this may feel heavy or too close to home.
Currently baking:
Mississippi Apple Cake
Oatmeal Date Cookies on repeat
Olive Oil Cake
Apple Pie (I used this recipe and her crust as well. Both were delicious and I used Einkorn flour which I purchase from Grist and Toll when in Stock).