On overwhelm

What do we even do when we lose a grip of everything?

Mar 05, 2025

Lately, theres been a shift in the world and I can’t quite gain my footing. Everything feels more impactful—I am caught in an emotional stasis and have no idea of how to show up and what to do. Almost twenty years of instant fast food media use have caught up with me and I want off the conveyor belt of a line. I need a pause.

Today, I wish I was able to teleport to Berkeley as there is a celebratory talk from john a. powell for his new book The Power of Bridging. Here are the details for that if you are in the Bay and wish to attend this evening: book event

Everything feels more emotionally charged, and for some reason, I am feeling so incredibly isolated—like the very existence of me is causing abrasion—I feel sad and confused. Abrasive to others and as if I am not being received well. The energy of the world is way off. I don’t tend to personalize this much.

There is so much I understand about what is happening in terms of us experiencing an assault on humanity and, my body simply can not integrate it. I keep getting sick. My daughter keeps getting sick. People around us keep getting sick. Very very sick. My body is failing on me, each week a new ailment arising, bubbling up to the surface. We are collectively overwhelmed.

I am spinning out of control and have no boundary to lightly bump into to slow me down. I am trying my best to brace myself for impact but it never arrives. I continue to read, write, and nourish my various external and internal ailments.

I am curious, how are you protecting your peace? Are you able to locate it? Or is it a bit lost, as mine is too.

Personally, I have created two lifelines: a silent book club in town and an unexpected friendship which has brought me the companionship my lonely heart has been yearning for. Having someone to prepare meals with has never been so comforting.

At my last silent book club gathering on a rainy Sunday morning, I had a gentle conversation with a new friend. I shared I did not know what do to and he shared, maybe making rice pudding cakes is all my work is at the moment. I liked that idea, and if I survived someone trying to destroy my life and baked my way to sanity, I think, now is the time to bake more than ever, and maybe even invite daily crochet as an act of resistance back into my life.

We must remember that we are not all islands, we are a community, that very much impacts each other and creates ripples which radiate outwards into our greater communities. Ripples of good.

How can we remember we still exist?

How do we remember we can still lead peaceful lives?

How do we continue to love each other when existing feels so hard?

How do we love ourselves when this is the world we have created or inherited?

Written under a Pisces sun and a Gemini moon feeling lost

Currently watching:

Cats in Istanbul. It’s where it’s at right now.

Currently cooking:

So many delicious homestyle meals and kimchi jjigae.

Currently reading:

The Guardian of the Word (Kouma Lafôlô Kouma) by Camara Laye :: access to read

Mumbai Modern :: More info

Culturemaking : When Creative Entrepreneurship and Community Building Collide by :: purchase link

Culturemaking is by far one of the most moving books I have read in a while.

I have been doing so much more reading lately and with this, I notice when I shift back to my phone screen my eyes do not want to adjust. Have you tried it? Can we leave phones behind? Is there a way?

Yesterday, I saw a sticker on a call which stated “cell-phone free” I loved this so much.

I stopped shopping on Amazon too—I believe you can do it too. I believe it matters too. Voting with your dollars and all.

I’ll leave you with a photo of Gladys’ toe beans whilst resting and a poem.