It’s no surprise I’ve been beyond stretched thin, and if you have been reading my musings for long enough, you are aware that I have been on the brink of a new discovery of self, cutting the cords to old ties, patterns, and behaviors that no longer serve me. Being a type-A melancholic isn’t going anywhere, but with the longer days approaching and it officially being Daylight savings, I feel a new joy arising from within. Today, I spent over an hour working in my garden plot, sorting, weeding, sifting, and planting and the love for Spring gardening fills my cup with hope. Despite the world always showing its true colors, I choose to live with hope. I am so thankful to see the many blessings that surround my life with smiles. My dear friends, being able to gather again, vaccinations, and cherry blossoms. The interesting thing is, I did not think I would ever be one to add vaccinations to a list but in speaking with elders about accessibility, I can only feel immense gratitude.
I have only recently begun to appreciate the mundane repetitive tasks that come with being a mother.
Maybe it’s because I have an older child, closer to leaving the nest, but acceptance of my highlighted, color-coded calendar of reminders of what is happening after school and planning meals quite suits me. Maybe in another life I would be with someone supportive, who releases me from tasks when I’m tired, but if I was offered another door would I take it? Likely not because I am quite happy with where things are right now.
I have spent my years preparing with the hobbies I will have for when my little one leaves the nest, but now, seems quite about time that I enjoy her and the little time we have left before she heads to college, has a boyfriend, and intentionally ignores my calls. Now feels like the time to lean into the closeness that one shares with their child before they pull away from their mother and take flight into the world.
As my energy slowly returns, I spend my time doing what I love most, honoring the natural ebb and flow and my need to rest.
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.
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Written under a Pisces sun and a Cancer moon, feeling like I can trust feeling hopeful about the future.
Listening to:
Old demos. I actually released an old tune today, you can listen to it here: Primavera
Currently Reading:
Golden Gate Gardening by Pam Price
The Luxury of Staying Small(est): An Essay by Amelia Wrede Davis
Currently Making:
🌿 A dress for Spring.
🌿 Focaccia with Chiddam Blanc de Mars.
🌿 A new album like nothing I have ever done before.
Hopeful for:
Quaint retreats to focus on my writing and music practice. Leaning into sharing my art more publicly.
Disclaimer: I appreciate your respect and understanding to my need for extra space during this time as I am recalibrating a new version of self. Personally, I am absolutely exhausted from the process of updating my internal programming to experience life more fully as a human on this planet. The internet’s ability to give you direct access to artists and creatives doesn’t mean that we have the time and energy to respond to every inquiry. Being able to disappear is important in such a demanding world. As a healer, I need deep and extended periods away from everything to be able to hear the gentle whispers of the world. I do things quite differently and you may not understand me, and that is absolutely okay.
In closing, Angels truly do exist.