Creatives have been on a common thread as of late, and that is one of time versus results or energy versus output of social media. Living in a Western society, the only demand is more: more time, more hovering* fanatics eager to talk to me about my music and process, more social media posting, more shows. Energetically, I do not have the physical capacity for this and need to share a couple boundaries.
One thing I have noticed lately is how demanding men can be. How they keep talking and talking, only hearing themselves and not taking a moment to tune into the fact that you are gently and kindly trying to end the conversation. How they keep asking personal question after personal question, and try to act like they don’t want to ask you out for dinner. Lately, I have found men to be creatures of self-interest.
I am not one to hold my tongue on personal opinions and if you are finding these words ‘offensive’ before clicking submit on your scathing opinion of why you disagree think long and hard on if you are actually listening to the women in your life or are only eagerly waiting for your moment to respond, interject, or cut off with what you think you know (or, what she just said, paraphrased and regurgitated as if it is your own).
After having multiple unfavorable encounters with men in my day job profession, my goal is to keep that out of my music career as much as possible. In order to do this I will need to step on toes, disappoint, and upset many, which I am okay doing. Social media and men feel the same to me right now, and I need space from both (aside from the few friends whom I cherish and are close to me).
As a songwriter, my job is to be attuned to what comes to me, and in order to do this, I need solitude, a peaceful mind, and to be around those who do not drain my emotional tank.
So call this a rant, call this whatever you wish, but understand it is not my job to entertain you as if it was a 1900’s theatrical caricature production. I am an artist and I need space to breathe.
Currently disengaging with anything and everything that does not fully align with me in 2022,
FF
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Written under a Taurus sun and a Gemini moon, feeling like naps are my new best friend.
On Boundaries
*When at my shows and waiting to speak with me, please don’t hover by me or my family, come up on the stage to accost me for a conversation, or follow me around to get a word in as I don’t like it at all.
I appreciate that you resonate with my music, but that is where I draw the line. I share my music, but I am not willing to give more of myself than my music.
Respect that I am a sensitive human being and my system can easily be overloaded.
On Gratitude
I had a spectacular show today and so many new friends came out to support me. I am in such appreciation for everyone who came to see me perform an all-new set. New doors are opening and I am ready for what gifts they bring.
Thank you Fo Fera this is exactly right! You nailed it. I agree we spend SO much of our already curtailed available time just trying to protect that last bit of freedom space. There IS of course less of it, compared to when we were 18. This is not about time management. Last week I heard a time management person say: "You know what the problem is REALLY? You are afraid of conflict and you say yes to too many things. "Time management" can't help you. Instead, fix the root cause". You are right to stay true to your instincts, and maybe not try to accomplish the required social media attention and output. Artists DO need more space! I believe one day there will be respect - and RESULTS (sales and appreciation of our work) for the ones that did not squander all their creative juices on what is essentially dragged out marketing (but we call it connecting with fans, expanding our network, etc). Who has time to be online all day? Thank you for this post!