This past week was so incredibly special. I’ve been quietly chugging away at a list of what I want in life and last week more than ever so much became crystal clear-my list is solidifying. This morning as I dance around, heart ablaze I feel ease once more as I center back into my body. You see, I take mental health very seriously. It is of the utmost importance to care for your mind, body, and spirit. So thanks to some familial support, I took a much needed break and entered a new kind of wilderness-one of the heart. The solace, quiet, and time away from the wrist juggling act of holding a phone at the hip was so rejuvenating, and once again I am happier than ever (albeit tired).
Nature is the definite reminder of our impermanence. It humbles us to the fact that there are things in this world bigger and even more important than us. Nothing makes me feel more alive than knowing I am a bit lower on the food chain and realizing how small I am. In this time of disconnect and in connecting with nature, I felt excited and alive. It was the ultimate reset.
Having had an extremely challenging past few months, my body and nervous system were stuck in a state of overdrive, weighing me down and keeping me in a fog of fatigue. Returning to nature and quiet helps me regain focus and clarity. When my adrenaline is in a healthy state, I can function at my best-in a peak state. Living in a busy town can keep your adrenaline button stuck in the “on” setting and make it difficult to unplug from. As I learn how important those moments of rest are, I am accepting a new reality of life, one where balance doesn’t come second.
As I wandered through the switchbacks of a new and breathtaking national park, my heart began to heal, and the love I have for myself, all of my quirks, weirdness, and flaws were exposed in a positive light and I felt whole again. I have been struggling with the question of self-love for so long now. How come it goes away so easily? Why is my go-to tendency to put my desires on the back burner for others? How do I achieve it? Little did I know, it has been there all along. It is a bit less experienced than my inner critic and my strong intuition, but just like a faint whisper it is there cheering me on to try again. So today I rejoice and say that I do truly love myself. Love is of excess and is all around us at all times.
From now on, I am going to trust my instincts and move according to what feels right at the moment. So many revelations, and feeling at ease in my body is such a delight.
My heart still craves a slower pace of living.
My heart still yearns for someone to call my own.
But for now, I will focus on what is, and learn to sit with uncomfortable emotions-even when I want to run.
One thing I know for sure is that when you are in the company of someone who accepts you for who you are, you can feel at ease that you are indeed in good company.
Until next time,
Fo Fera
p.s. This week was a bit of a ramble. As much as I tried to have it make more sense it wasn’t getting there. I have a lot of thoughts swirling and an expanding to-do list I am trying to keep at a reasonable place.
Do you want to support me more? You can buy me a chai here (you can even change the amount): Ko-Fi
Some Tidbits:
Song: Natalie Lafourcade-Hasta La Raíz
Book: The Nation of Plants (I finished it in 2 days, a very good read).
I made some of my old YT videos public, may delete them later so catch them while you can: