Letting go of the possibility of what if
What if I told you that the pain and devastation of loss and separation during a partnership doesn’t actually stem from the separation but from your unlived plans. You know, the kind that have you walking down the aisle, or driving down the coast together, or lathering one another with sunscreen at the beach. All those missed opportunities.
I used to get stuck in the past. Unable to move, see the present, or feel any ounce of hope about the future. My choices, my mistakes were always the reason of the catastrophe, and I held the weight of all the blame.
Maybe it’s time we stop trying to have people hold up to the perceived version we have created of them in our minds and become aligned with the fact that individuals all bring their own unique set of challenges and benefits into a relationship. This is neither positive nor negative. It just is. If we focus more on building a stable foundation on supporting the other person with love, kindness, and understanding, maybe something can be built that feels good for both parties.
Maybe if we flip the script and see that we will eventually end up with someone more compatible and be able to enjoy all of these things together we can feel less sadness. Yes, the inevitable has occurred and your time has ended with your person for that time, but someone new who is right for you will eventually fill that void you are feeling. So keep your head up!